Save a tree, eat a beaver.
For the last time! If a girly man was turned into a girl, he would just be a girl. Likewise if a manly girl was turned into a man. However, manly men that get turned into girls are gay.
Six hours later, I still hadn't managed to write a full sentence for the paper due the next morning. However, I did win 7 out of 245 games of Solitaire.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on
Every time I say the word 'diet', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
It's not about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about screaming with the thunder, running with the lightning, and learning to dance in the rain.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.
-grabs yardstick- If you don't get this question, then this is going to get shoved up someone's ass. No lube either.
Well behaved women rarely make history.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Do not meddle in the affairs of slashers, for you are cute and go well with other men.
My hatred for you can not be expressed in words, so I have decided it to incorporate it in song and dance.
Love makes you do OOC things.
"I need a credit card!"
"In my pocket!!"
"Which pocket!?"
"My back pocket!!"
"You have, like, ten back pockets!!"
LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!! LEFT CHEEK!!"
When life gives you lemons, make yaoi! (then wonder when you turned into such a pervert)
Once upon a time, There a Yellow Duck. He thought he was just the coolest awesomest yellow duck ever! Then, One day. A Purple giraffe came up and was like "Dude. You're yellow" And the yellow duck was sad. He thought he was amazing and beautifully yellow he didn't know there were other colors! So the little yellow duck worked up his courage and walked up to the Purple Giraffe and was like. "You sir, Are a fag." and kicked the Purple giraffe in the shin and walked off. And the Yellow Duck lived happily ever after. =D The motherfucking end.
If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.
Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends (eh heh...i think i passed the crazy line a long time ago...)
If your parents don't know what you write or draw, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you absolutely cannot stand the mere thought of Naruto and Sakura as a couple, copy and paste this into your profile -shudders-
The greatest feats are accomplished by people who are too stupid to know that they're impossible
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
When life gives you lemons...make sure your parents don't read over your shoulder at the wrong moment.
lol: L, oh L! Moaned by Yagami Light while the two of them are copulating like bunnies.
I was reading fanfictions while the rest of the world was making Myspace and Facebook accounts.
"The boy cries you a sweater of tears...and you kill him." - Mr. Krabs
"You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend...well, that would just be ok." -Spongebob
"Build a man a fire, He'll be warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO SET YOU ON FIRE!! -Grabs flamethrower-
If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun
If you are pure evil with a heart of gold, copy and paste this to your profile.
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them
When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one
I am not a little pervert...I AM A BIG ONE
Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.
Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
Hate the sin, love the sinner.
This place is dirtier than Jiraiya's mind!
You know, logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!
Anyway, we have the five villages: the drinking gourd, the dog crap, the squiggly lines, the three puddles and the- what the crap is our symbol? No, seriously- it doesn't even look like a leaf! It looks like a snail fell over and can't get up!
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
"BE yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive" -Gerard Way
"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine... forever." - Hitsugaya Toushirou, Bleach
"Envy..you...you're envious of humans. We're so much weaker than you homunculi, battered, confused, even when we're beaten, and about to collapse, even when we know it's pointless, we always stand back up. And if we can't, our friends will lift us up. You'll never have that...and its made you jealous of us." -Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
"How humiliating...reduced to this pathetic form with you humans, you pieces of shit mocking me. And worst of all, the lowest, most disgusting one of you...that fucking kid is the one who understands how I feel. That is the ultimate insult. Bye, bye...Edward Elric." -Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist)
"The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fears are truly brave."
Look at the pretty fire!
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We were all born originals, but so many of us die as copies.
Hard work beats talent if talent doesn't work hard.
Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young...
There were only 150 Pokemon.Digimon was popular. Yugi-Oh actually had Yugi in it. You didn’t get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating. Nobody cared what you looked like. Hamtaro ROCKED. Catching a pidgeon was cool.Pirates before Pirates of the Carribean. Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'. Pinky and the Brain were cartoon characters, not body parts. Saying 'moron' was a swear word. Fire was considered dangerous. The only thing you had to worry about were cooties. Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines. Multiplication was scary. Dora the Explorer and that goddamned monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist.The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread. Texting was done on calculator.
"I hate talkative guys... They gross me out." - Matsumoto Rangiku, Bleach
"I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" - Jack Sparrow, Dead Man's Chest
"Damn it, there are so many idiots whose asses I need to kick!! I'm going to have to start keeping a list just to keep track of them all!!" - Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist
Suicide is a way of telling God, 'YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!
"Are you alright, Brother?" - Al
"Yeah, I'm just peachy. I love turbulent carriage rides with seats as soft as granite." - Ed, Fullmetal Alchemist
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
I never said I was normal, you just presumed I was.
War does not determine what is right--only who is left
The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts like hell.
It's back to Hell for me. Come on Nixon.
For once someone might actually call me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene'.
I could pull a better cartoon out of my a- HEY KIDS!
OH! Rope! It's more manlier than string!
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Chuck”.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
You plus me equals knives and blood.
This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
A vase is basically a flower torture device; you rip it from it's home, put it in a small container and watch it die slowly.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, then it was a valuable plant.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
"A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike."
.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
“Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.”
Your pen maybe mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen.
If it's small, I run over it. If it's big, I ram it 'till it's small, or outta my way
You see, the problem here is, you're speaking in Math, and I'm listening in Stupid
All the special effects in the world can't turn a bad plot into a good movie
Otaku rule because our lives are portable, and we know how to be subtly unsubtle.
Whoo! I don't have any homework to feel guilty about not doing tonight!
Great minds do think alike. But then again, so do simple animals...
It doesn't matter how varied high school courses are, because in the end, they all turn into math class
Fate doesn't exist. We're all just pawns in someone else's fanfiction!
Kids look at algebra and think, "Why put letters into Math?"
Adults look at internet lingo and think, "Why put numbers into English?"
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -Albert Einstein
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” Aristotle
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Plato
Hey, look - Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!...You haven't got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge." -Fred and George, Philosopher's Stone
They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
I had a dream, and in it, something eats you.
Yo momma's so fat even Naruto doesn't BELIEVE IT.
People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.
Genius by birth, slacker by choice
When your dad is mad at you and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
My view of people: Everyone is a pervert. It just comes down to if they accept it, how perverted they are, and how well they hide it...
Lets get one thing straight-I'm not! (I am but.. Its still funny)
It's too late to scream.
Well, la-dee-fuckin'-da.
Fuck you no jutsu!
Tell Hell I sent you.
...And deliver us from fangirls...
...I feel stupid, and contagious...
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon' --Chris Rock
I'm going to hell, who's coming with me?
Behind every bitch is the guy who made her that way.
I'm not afraid of death, what's it gonna do? kill me?
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile. (i endd up asking my dad right in front of the person who asked...)
How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction (Thanks, FieldOfPaperFlowers)
10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews."
9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite?
8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic.
7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet.
6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest (or goriest O.O) gets a cookie.
5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction.
4. A story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny.
3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you frenchin jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context.
2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours.
1.You repost this onto your profile! :)
Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
"Stay back I've got a chainsaw! Memememememem!memem."
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I'm the man of the house and I have my wife's permission to say so.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. -Bryan White
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to paramedics.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
Must. Hide. Dead. Body.
Shhh...I'm plotting
I know KUNG-FU and 50 other dangerous words
"Nobody controls me. I'm uncontrollable. The only one who can control me is me, and that's just barely possible."
Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die
"It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eyeball...Then it's like...HEY! FREE EYEBALL!!"
This is my phrase. Do you see my phrase? If you do, I hope you don't steal it because if you do, you'll get a tumor.
I don't only want to rain on your parade...I want to blow up all the floats!
Define normal
People say I'm crazy, actually I'm just bored.
I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
Happiness is your Mother-In-Law's Picture on the Back of a Milk Carton
Its good to die for your country, but its really good when the other bastard dies for their country.
A mighty oak is the result of a nut who held its ground.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
Why are wrong numbers never busy?
You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity
Smile every minute of the day. You never know who is falling in love with it.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Do not meddle in the affairs of artists, for this is satire and you would look good in lingerie.
After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference
The trouble with life is there's no background music
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences
You know what!? Earth sucks, I’m going home.
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
I have not lost my sanity... I have simply found a better, more entertaning use for it.
It is only fair to warn you that I am practiced in the ancient art of origami. Beware my paper swan.
"OK, I'm wierd! But I'm saving up to become eccentric."
That, my children, is called a wall. But beware, the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
IT'S THE SUGAR TALKING, I SWEAR!
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Nobody move! I dropped my brain.
In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.
People say that guys are worse bullies then girls. If you think this is bogus, copy this into your profile.
Where in the nursery rhymes does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. ~Mark Twain
Drive it like you stole it!
Don’t worry, it’s just blood.
I haven’t committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law
I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
Are you sure? Because my Gaydar went off like crazy when I saw you.
"The only thing you can't wish for is a better tasting muffin." -Cosmo (Fairly Odd Parents)
"The muffin tastes bad, but it's powerful! All hail the muffin!" -Cosmo (Fairly Odd Parents)
My Pokemon bring all the boys to the yard.
"The world is not as beautiful as everyone says she is. Life is not as fair as everyone wants it to be. But why should I let that ruin my day?"
Awww, shut up and give me a muffin ya damn hippie.
· There are two kinds of people in this world...those that play hopscotch and sing in the shower, and those that lie alone at night with tears in their eyes. Everyone has a choice as to which we want to be...and everyone is a little of both.
Write like no one is gonna read your words.
True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else expects you to fall apart.
“The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.”
-- Nicholas Chamfort
One day while I was walking through the woods, I came upon a human skull. I immediatly panicked and called the police to report my find and as I waited for them to arrive, I thought to myself, who was this man? and why did he have antlers?
pøøƒ
~How important does a person have to be before a person is considered assassinated instead of murdered?
Don't call me small! I'll break off your feet and stick them on your head!" -Edward Elric
-Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
'Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators' -William Saroyan
Yes~! -starts to do the happy dance- All that yaoi didn't land me in Hell after all!
He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.
I left the womb for this?
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I fucked your sister. She was better than you.
I ran into my ex the other day... I put it into reverse and hit him again.
Remember my name. You'll be screaming it later.
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that dream is reality, and it really happened.
In ancient times, cats were worshiped as gods. They have not forgotten this.
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies, but not everyone lives.
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetary, people would stop dying.
Jashin would be pleased with your torture techniques
Have I seen you before, maybe in another universe?
Life is totally screwed up! At least the cookies are good..."
I am 105 percent sure...that I am obsessed with L.
Lemons are brilliant; they allow you to have fun in ways that are physically impossible.
The same day Paris gets an award for acting is the same day a porn star gets an Oscar.
I hate science! It takes all the fun out of life. I was quite happy thinking unicorns were real.
People in the closet are like Tomatoes . . . Everyone thinks they are vegetables but really they are fruit.
I am not celibate, I am asexual!! A Celibacy is where you choose to be sexual repressed, where as asexualism is when you are naturally sexual repressed.
Someone needs to be horse whipped for their stupidity.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true.
We Americans, we're a simple people...but piss us off and we'll bomb your cities.
Just close your eyes, forget your name, forget the world, forget the people, just close your eyes, forget your name, forget the world, now go insane.
When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
Always plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
