Welcome

I'm new at this, so constructive criticism is appreciated. This is for all book nerds out there! Including myself!
For those who know me from dA or ArmorGames, please comment, so I know who you are!

Have fun!!

This site will not be held responsible for any smiles that may be cracked while reading these texts.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Prison or Work

IN PRISON... You get three meals a day.
AT WORK... You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON... A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON... You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... You get your own toilet.
AT WORK... You have to share.

IN PRISON... They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK... You cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON... All expenses are paid by tax payers with no work required.
AT WORK... You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

To maintain a healthy level of insanity

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read Smile.

(Because if there was no insanity, there would be no authors, and we'd have to find some other site to visit.)

Friends

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Find a guy...

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Beginning

Yo, there!
I was thinking of starting with something slow. Like 'The Iron Lance' from Stephen Lawhead.
The book is about the crusades. Murdo Ranulfson goes to find his father after his property was taken away by the Bishop. Will he find him? Will he die? He's only 16, for Christ's sake(no pun intended). He leaves his mother and pregnant fiancee behind.
The book is very well written. It's working it's way towards being my favorite. Lets see how far it'll get.

How can you tell if you're a good writer

-If you talk to yourself
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person(Have you noticed that the word 'deliver' might mean removing someone's liver?)
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine
-If people notice that you check you're e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear of the face of the planet
-If your e-mails are pages long and extremely random
-If when replying to someone's e-mail, you're sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard
-If people think you might have A.D.D
-If you think it would be cool having A.D.D
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense
-If you think about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason
AND finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101