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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Prison or Work

IN PRISON... You get three meals a day.
AT WORK... You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON... You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK... You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON... A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK... You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON... You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK... You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... You get your own toilet.
AT WORK... You have to share.

IN PRISON... They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK... You cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON... All expenses are paid by tax payers with no work required.
AT WORK... You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
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How can you tell if you're a good writer

-If you talk to yourself
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person(Have you noticed that the word 'deliver' might mean removing someone's liver?)
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine
-If people notice that you check you're e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear of the face of the planet
-If your e-mails are pages long and extremely random
-If when replying to someone's e-mail, you're sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard
-If people think you might have A.D.D
-If you think it would be cool having A.D.D
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense
-If you think about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason
AND finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101