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This site will not be held responsible for any smiles that may be cracked while reading these texts.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

To maintain a healthy level of insanity

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read Smile.

(Because if there was no insanity, there would be no authors, and we'd have to find some other site to visit.)

2 comments:

  1. ha ha ha ha ha some of these are reeeeeally great xD

    and btw i'm WhisperofDawn from dA :)

    ReplyDelete

How can you tell if you're a good writer

-If you talk to yourself
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person(Have you noticed that the word 'deliver' might mean removing someone's liver?)
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine
-If people notice that you check you're e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear of the face of the planet
-If your e-mails are pages long and extremely random
-If when replying to someone's e-mail, you're sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard
-If people think you might have A.D.D
-If you think it would be cool having A.D.D
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense
-If you think about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason
AND finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101