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I'm new at this, so constructive criticism is appreciated. This is for all book nerds out there! Including myself!
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Monday, September 20, 2010

Smartassness part II

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 % chance of getting something right, there's a 90 % chance you'll get it wrong.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look to good either.

If you don't like the way I drive-get off the sidewalk!

God, grant me the serenity to accept things I can't change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of people I had to kill because they annoyed me.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

I'd have a photographic memory, but it was never developed.

A life? Cool! Where do I download one of those?

Of all the things I lost I miss my mind the most.
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How can you tell if you're a good writer

-If you talk to yourself
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person(Have you noticed that the word 'deliver' might mean removing someone's liver?)
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine
-If people notice that you check you're e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear of the face of the planet
-If your e-mails are pages long and extremely random
-If when replying to someone's e-mail, you're sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard
-If people think you might have A.D.D
-If you think it would be cool having A.D.D
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense
-If you think about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason
AND finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101