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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Chuck Norris Round House Corner 1

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident

Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him a promising rookie.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not only a noun but a verb.

Aliens DO exist. They just know better than to visit a planet Chuck Norris is on.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strike. He just knocks down one of the pins and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. He bites frost.

Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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How can you tell if you're a good writer

-If you talk to yourself
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person(Have you noticed that the word 'deliver' might mean removing someone's liver?)
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine
-If people notice that you check you're e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear of the face of the planet
-If your e-mails are pages long and extremely random
-If when replying to someone's e-mail, you're sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard
-If people think you might have A.D.D
-If you think it would be cool having A.D.D
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense
-If you think about making lists like this and start giggling for no apparent reason
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason
AND finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: If you worship English 101