girl: my boyfriend dumped me!
dad:(grabs shot gun) I'll be back..while later dad comes back,
girl:what the hell! why did you go kill him!
dad: I didn't
girl:where did you go?
dad: to get you ice cream :D
girl:why the hell did you bring the shot gun?!
dad: so I could get it for free
There are 10 types of people on facebook -
1- The smilers :)
2- The txt chaters
3- The constant status updaters
4- The likers
5- The gamers
6- The e-mailers
7- The swearers
8- The photo takers
9- The picnikers
10- And all of the abovers ;)
Mom: Oh my gosh, how is your hair so soft?!
Me: Its a secret.
Mom: Tell me. Now.
Me: I.... I....
Mom: YOU WHAT?!?!
Me: I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH, I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!!!!!!!!!!"
CAHOOOOOOOOTS!!!!!!!! CAHOOTS I SAY!" "You Do Seem To Be Saying Cahoots.
When we go home...
Our straightened hair goes up into messy buns.
Our makeup has faded or smudged so we take it off.
The fake smile vanishes into how we really feel.
Our brand new shirt changes into our favorite old sweater.
Our skinny jeans are traded for sweat pants or pajamas.
And our Uggs are taken off to reveal our fuzzy socks.
When we go home...
You wouldn't recognize us.
Being in that mood where the fb chat goes like this:
friend: Heeeyy :D x
you: hi.
friend: how aree youuuu??!! :P x
you: fine.
friend: whats up?? :) x
you: the sky.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.
Men were drunk,they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we've arrived'. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must realized that the car didn't move an inch. So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
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