Do it later - the early worm is for the birds.

Creativity helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless - so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.

There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Economics -- the science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.

Elitism -- It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Death is hereditary.

My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

You'll always miss 100 of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99 of the shots you do.

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.

I'm a paranoid apathiest. I know someones out to get me i just don't care.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75 of the world's population.

If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

When life gives you lemons, you’d better wait for it to give you some sugar first or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

An expert is one who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

In order to get the handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of toads.